Amuck. I find it’s the perfect adjective for those yucky days when I just feel off, like a total space cadet, a little sick, and a lot of anxiety about dozens of things that have no relation to one another. It sounds eerily like a complaint, but I prefer to just say I’m feeling amuck and this is, after all, my blog.
Let me start with how my day began. I woke up around 7am with a migraine, an interestingly painful
torture method from God ailment for those who have never had the misfortune of getting one. If you’ve never had more than a dull headache, you should count your lucky stars. Migraines are basically the worst. For me, it’s the feeling of a tack hammer gradually increasing speed as it’s pecking into my right temple. This continues until I take my prescription strength pill (Imitrex) that shifts the pecking to one that encircles my head with a steady strong pressure, as if my head is a whitehead to pop. In order to get out of this debilitating mess, I sleep it off for a few hours. Luckily, the Imitrex makes you groggy enough to WANT to sleep for several hours. Once this charade is played out, I’ve wasted a good four-six hours on trying to feel like a human again.
That takes me to 11am. I wake up to no electricity in the house. A giant tree has fallen across the lines in my neighbor’s yard. Because of my migraine grog, I completely miss seeing this massive downed tree as I’m leaving the house for work. This is the third, odd, house-related issue that has happened to Brian and I in the past several days; the garbage disposal broke, a cable on the garage door snapped, and apparently, we have trees committing suicide. And our pets heads are falling off.
On top of all this, work is extremely busy and I feel overwhelmed, bajiggity, and off-kilter, which is probably not as bad as I’m making it out to be. In other words, I really need to pull my shit together and GSD. That’s “get shit done” for those of you who don’t know.
My point is trying to emerge. Today, and the past several days are circling my head like a cloud. Work, some dredged up feelings over extended family politics, finding time to hang with Brian and others I love, to train Duck and Remy to my liking, complete countless home improvements on a budget….it’s all just swirling and pecking at me like that migraine. I know I talked about trying to taper off my therapy for a while but I have to admit, even THAT made me anxious. I’m working very hard to sort it all out in my head. In the meantime, I’m going to soak up whatever flannel, poncho, and Hunter weather I can, take as many pictures of pretty things I see, and calm. it. down. Because bitches get shit done. Professionally and personally.