It is coincidental that my sister Kim spoke to me this week about going skydiving – I had actually been talking about it with my pal Rachel (her idea) and that I was coming around to being strapped to another human and then catapulting out of a plane. Fast forward to yesterday (Friday) when opportunity arose to skydive with Kim, her boyfriend for his milestone birthday (40th!) and my “I’m-never-fucking-going-skydiving” husband. He was such a trooper.
As I said…it’s nearly dawn here, or so it feels like. I can’t sleep – mainly out of excitement, Savignon Blanc, Bud Light Platimum, and anxiety-driven worrry. I am super stoked to be cast out of a plane firmly secured to a skydiving professional, AND I think I may have used a lovely birthday dinner at Marina Grog & Galley to pursuade Brian to allow me to become a pilot. Just another Saturday here in Mid-MO checking things off the old bucket list.
I digress. Point being, I’m going skydiving tomorrow (or today, whatever) with my sister, her boyfriend, and my husband Brian while the rest of my family (who loves me dearly) will watch safely from the ground. At the young age of 29, I know I don’t have much to will or bequeath. But when my dad asked me what I’d put in my will today as we were cruising some dirt roads doing some father/daughter bonding, I started to ponder what would make up possibly the most important list I will every write. Rather morbid, I know, but I’ve been fascinated by death for many years.
Editor’s Note: At any given opportunity, I will talk about death and make you very uncomfortable if you’re not prepared. Watch out!
I wanted to put together some thoughts about what happens should I perish in an unfortunate skydiving accident (which I don’t think I will but JUST IN CASE THE CHUTE FAILS). Below is my list of r(b)equests and they are in no particular order: NOTE: I DID NOT PERISH, BUT INSTEAD HAD A VERY EXTREME AND AWESOME SKYDIVING EXPERIENCE.
My dear husband Brian gets all the money, life insurance, and everything else of mine to distribute as he wishes. Family heirlooms are to be discussed and shared with my parents, Brian, and both of our siblings. I will any relevant artifacts/notes/incriminating evidence or tokens a best friend would share to my two sisters Kim and Wendy, my niece Peyton, and my brother Colton, Kerri, Rachel, Rachael, Jenny and Jillian.
I request one piece of my photography to be placed in all family and friend’s homes.
I’d like Candlebox, “Far Behind”, played at the memorial service. In fact, I’d really just like someone to say some nice things, and then for all of you to go to McGurk’s, drink and listen (but not limited) to the following songs:
Ruby Tuesday by the Stones
Bitter End by the Dixie Chicks
She’s Always a Woman by Billy Joel
My Father’s Gun by Elton John
Dirt Road Anthem (feat. Ludacris), by Jason Aldean
Hold You In My Arms by Ray Lamontagne
Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain by Willie Nelson
(just a few of the super sad/awesome selection)
Cremate me. Spread a few of my ashes everywhere you think I would enjoy. Preferably on a kickass road trip you take on a road to self-discovery. Or the Grand Canyon – North Rim.
If for some reason I am reduced to life support, someone make sure I don’t have a mustache. It’s just gross.
Pictures to come. Or, if they don’t….God speed!
Pictures are now here:
Note: This is not my actual will. While some parts are true, (like the part about my sisters being responsible for removing any facial hair should I become unable to care for myself), most are meant to be humorous. I do talk about serious stuff on here, but a good rule of thumb is to generally take the things I say pretty lightly. I kid. I say sarcastic things.